Around the beginning of the year, I paid off my Filene’s charge card (I think it was up to $800 or so - I had to cash out some retirement to do this, if you will recall) and cut up the card. I knew that this meant no more cute clothes every season unless I pay cash for them. Well, those evil folks at Filene’s took it upon themselves to send me a new, pretty pale green card. It arrived in my mail on Saturday. Very minimalist and understated, the card spoke to me (true story). It said, “K! Oh how Filene’s has missed you! It’s so good to have you back! We can do many wonderful things together! Think of all those summer dresses and skirts you love to wear! Come on! Let’s make sweet, sweet shopping love together! Just like old times!”

I knew that this card had to be destroyed.

My hands trembling, I showed TIRH the pretty card and asked him to do the deed. Even though I wanted it destroyed, I wasn’t going to be the one to do it. It was like freakin’ Old Yeller, that damn card. We had shared many wonderful times at the Ingleside Mall, buying purses and shoes and lovely black things. Christmas gifts were conveniently purchased for Mom, aunts, boyfriends, Dad, uncles, friends. As much as I hated Filene’s it got me through many gift-giving exigencies.

I handed TIRH the scissors and he set to work on the card. He was deft with the plastic-handled device, having experience with the first Filene’s card mincing. When it was in about ten pieces, I said, “that’s enough” and we set to throwing it away (in two different trash bins so that some bad people couldn’t happen upon our card and try to put it back together).

TIRH, if I ask you, “Why did you shoot Rosemary?” I hope you’ll know what to say next. And, if you see me looking a little ragged or dejected because I can’t afford to buy fancy pink sandals this summer, just look me in the eye and say, “Now and then, for no good reason, life will haul off and knock a woman flat.”